First Time Check In

A young couple tries to pull a fast one on an old hotel desk clerk but he might be quicker than they imagined.

FADE IN:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY. LATE NIGHT

A small town hotel. The lobby has homey furniture and paintings of lakes and mountains that one only finds in hotels. BARNEY AN ELDERY MAN WITH A POT BELLY, WHITE HAIR, AND A KIND FACE sits behind the front desk, bouncing a tennis ball off the back wall. It is a quiet night.

The Silence is broken by RON A PIMPLY FACED TEENAGER WEARING A SUIT THAT DOESN’T MATCH AND A FAKE MUSTACHE. He enters through the front door, strolls around the lobby looking for security cameras, and then casually as possible walks up to the front desk. Barney stops bouncing his tennis ball.

              BARNEY

Hello there sir. What can I do for you this evening?

              RON

     (Quickly)

I would like one of your hotel rooms for one night. Here is my official ID

Ron quickly hands over his driver’s license. The ID says his name is JOSE O’BRIAN and that he is from Nevada. The photo on the license has a mustache drawn on it.

                        BARNEY
          Right away. Mr. O’Brian.

Barney starts doing the paperwork.

                        BARNEY

          What brings you to Illinois?

RON
I’m on my way to Texas for a business conference.

                        BARNEY

          Oh…taking the scenic route?

          RON

Yes it’s a beautiful country. Lovely…fields.

Barney finishes paperwork

BARNEY

          That’ll be Forty dollars.

Ron pulls out a crumpled wad of cash.

                        RON
          Here you go my good man.

Ron gives a nervous smile and half of his mustache starts to fall off.

                        BARNEY

          Are you all right sir?

Barney points at Ron’s mustache.

                        RON

Yes…Oh. I have…cancer. Chemotherapy.

                        BARNEY

I’ve heard it can do that. I’m sorry to hear. What kind of cancer is it?

                        RON
          Ummm….The….

(With a deep voice)
Now listen here. In my day, clerks didn’t pester the customers. I need my sleep you old fool.

                        BARNEY

I’m very sorry sir. Here’s your key, Room 317.

     RON

That’s more like it. Good night.

Ron practically runs out of the lobby. Barney is left standing there chuckling to himself.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY. TEN MINUTES LATER

The lobby is quiet again and Barney is back to bouncing his tennis ball. MARY A CUTE TEENAGE GIRL WEARING A PANTS SUIT THAT IS TOO BIG FOR HER AND THICK GLASSES enters the lobby.

She keeps her head down and walks a straight line to the front desk. Barney stops bouncing his tennis ball.

                        BARNEY

          Hello there Ma’am

              MARY

(Quickly)
I would like one of your hotel rooms for one night. Here is my official ID.

Barney takes her ID. Her license says that she is from Nevada and that her name is SAMANTHA WOMAN.

                        BARNEY

Oh you’re the second person tonight from Nevada.

              MARY
Oh really….that’s very…wow…really…Oh?

              BARNEY

Are you also going to the convention?

              MARY

Yes.

              BARNEY

You also like a third floor room?

              MARY

Yes.

BARNEY

You also need help with your luggage?

              MARY

Ye….What? He…The other person had luggage?

BARNEY

Oh yes Ma’am and he needed a good deal of help getting the swing onto the elevator

MARY

Swing?! What do you mean Swing?

              BARNEY

I don’t really know. It wasn’t like any other swing I’d seen before but they say leather is easier to clean.

              MARY

Did he have anything else?

              BARNEY

Just a big black bag and pool cue.

              MARY

Pool cue?

              BARNEY

I would assume by the way the satchel was shaped.

              MARY
That jerk…what was he thinking?

              BARNEY
He was a bit odd…he actually thought that our little kitchen had lobster.

She gives a slight sigh of relief and smiles.

                        MARY

          He tried to order lobster?

                        BARNEY

          Yep two live ones.

                        MARY

          Live?

BARNEY

I told him the closest we got was the fish in the aquarium we keep in the staff lounge. The most peculiar part was he said that would be fine as long as I could find a couple of rubber bands.

All the color drains out of Mary’s face.

MARY

I think I’m going to be sick.

Barney grabs a key card and a tennis ball.

                        BARNEY

Anyway. I’ll put you in 319 right next to his and if you see him can you give him his tennis ball back. I hope it’s all right that I washed the honey off.

Mary’s Mouth is a gap. She shakes her head and takes off her glasses.

                        MARY

          I won’t be needing that room after all.

She starts to walk away. She suddenly turns on her heel and returns to the desk.

                        MARY

          And when you see this man please tell him that if he’s into that stuff he can have…conventions with Susan Jenkins for all I care.

                        BARNEY

          I’ll be sure to tell him Ma’am.

She breathes out harshly and then turns to walk away again.

Mary leaves. Barney goes to the telephone and dials. He speaks with a very pleasant tone.

                        BARNEY

Hello sir. I was just calling to let you know that I’ve arranged a wake up call for you.

     (Pause)

No trouble sir. Have a pleasant night. 

Barney hangs up the phone and goes back to bouncing his tennis ball.

THE END